My Kryptonite

Hi all,

Have you ever been the subject of a gesture or a look from someone passing you (e.g. in a car) and not had time to respond before they're gone? The sense of frustration at not having the right of reply can be maddening. Well, get ready, here comes the tale; this morning my 2 year old son and I were out at the front of our house, in a quiet Close, in a little village. He was stood on the pavement excitedly watching a ride-on mower a few houses along, as boys do. Along came an SUV with a lady driving (I say lady, but am thinking of another word here). She all but came to a halt when she saw my son, and me perhaps 3 metres behind on the drive, and then drove as slow as humanly possible until they were safely past. That's great, you're thinking, how thoughtful!; and I would have thought that too, and given her a little wave in gratitude for spending those few seconds being considerate. But no. Why? Because she took advantage of those few seconds to give me a look that could have turned me to dust, never mind stone, a look of such disgust on her face, it turned a great mood into ever-worsening cycle of negative thoughts about myself.

So this is my reflection. I'm sure a lot of mothers, perhaps fathers too - I'm not sexist; would agree that their Kryptonite would be a critique of their mothering skills. This 'lady' clearly thought I should have closed that 3 metre gap and grabbed my son like a demented harridan at first sight of her vehicle. Although my over active imagination would happily encourage that sort of behaviour, rationally I do prefer an exposure-to-some-risk childhood in order to facilitate learning and good decision-making. I was speaking to my child throughout our time at the front of the house and do think that I was right to offer him a level of trust whilst repeating warnings about the road and the passing SUV as I observed protectively, praising him throughout. He was merely watching what was going on, not running about absent mindedly. So do you:
a) Obsess about the ifs, buts and maybes and think you must be the worst mother in the world.
b) Think perhaps she was right? But then no, I'm happy with my parental decision-making.
c) Shrug it off and forget all about it
d) Not even notice in the first place

My aim is to be a c) but I am mostly/automatically an a). It is my personality/ thinking style and I accept it, whilst having an awareness of the need to keep it under control.  My son and I retreated back into the house as I paced the kitchen letting my thoughts run away with me, "I'm stupid/why didn't I get hold of him/ there must be something wrong with me!" and I felt my breathing quicken as my anxieties were rising. Thankfully now, I can recognise that I am starting to do that and interrupt the cycle. I made myself a drink, thought 'I can blog this - this is useful' and mentally composed my rational side to enable the shrugging.

Excessive anxieties are a symptom of mental illness (link to symptoms and information from the National Institute of Mental Health) and my current status is that I do not have excessive anxieties, however can worryingly easily slip into that state of mind dependent on other extraneous variables at any given time. What I can do, in a good state of mental health, is recognise that it is irrational to extrapolate that you are the worst mother in the world from the look on someone's face!
These are my alternative explanations:
a) The driver is genetically challenged so she can't help the way her face looks
b) She has her own problems causing her to scowl at everyone she sees
c) She was just jealous because my son is more handsome than hers
d) She needed a wee
e) She wasn't thinking anything of the sort
f) She was thinking 'bad mother!' but SO WHAT! I know I am the BEST mother in the world for MY CHILDREN! The worst mothers in the world are in prison, not playing out with their sons.

If you recognise any patterns of irrational thinking in yourself, it is definitely worth a visit to your gp to ask for a referral for talking therapy. You do not have to live with the distress.

Now onto the lighter side of my life and hence the whole reason I do it, my card therapy! This week I have created a card for the Wow! Embossing Powder June Blog Challenge - Nature. It is my first attempt at a blog challenge and it was interesting to see what I could create from a theme. I love +WOW! Embossing Powders so have plenty and it is very easy to use and produce beautiful results. Apologies for the terrible photo - need a better camera!

I have used a Kanban crafts tree stamp with various colours of +WOW! Embossing Powders including Pastel Pink (blossoms) , Earthtone Nutmeg (autumn), Opaque Bright White Superfine (winter), Green Glitz Embossing Glitter (summer), and put a little Clear Sparkle Embossing Glitter on the butterflies on the backing paper (Craftwork Cards - also the big pink flowers - diy curling). I have also used Papermania Copper Embossing powder for the tree trunks and some Ranger Superfine Gold mixed in with the Earthtone Nutmeg and Copper for the autumn tree. The butterfly is from Anna Marie Designs as wooden blank and I have used IndigoBlu's Yorkshire Dales Mega Flakes and a bit of quilling to decorate it. Also used +Spellbinders Paper Arts of course, large circles dies, ribbon tag die and the branch is from the Cherry Blossom dies.

Would love you to leave a comment if you stop by,

It's nearly the weekend!

Emma x

Therapeutic ventures

Good morning all,

I am sat here gingerly this morning with a frozen gel pack against my lumbosacral region as the recent combination of over-exuberant gardening and frequent linen changes of a very low toddler bed has reignited an old back injury caused by my former life as a midwife. Daily contortions around labouring, birthing and breastfeeding women have taken their toll and left me with back which does not appreciate the abuse it is asked to tolerate. However after a careful weekend of intermittent standing, lying, anti-inflammatories, and repeatedly freezing my muscles into submission, I'm relieved to find it slightly improved today. I would have found it unbearable to have another day of inactivity. Although, requesting the husband to take command of all nappy changes has been a pleasant bonus.

It's been bad, but not quite as bad as the last time I seriously injured my back and all attempts to crawl into the car to go to A&E had failed. I was lay on the flags by the front door, with all the neighbours watching excitedly as I writhed around in agony, and my husband thought I needed covering with a quilt to keep warm. The ambulance arrived and my husband was requested to move the aforementioned car to get the ambulance closer to me, which he did hastily, running over my foot in the process, causing a meltdown of epic proportions, the unsympathetic paramedic to insist I get a grip, and me to lie there wishing the husband could just do a job properly for once and finish me off completely. True story without embellishments - you couldn't make it up.

However, on a serious note, being incapacitated requires a mental strength I do not possess, and I really admire the strength of people who suffer but cope with immobility on a more permanent basis. Conversely though I can completely understand the rationale behind the late campaigners Diane Pretty and Tony Nicklinson's fight for the right to die. Controversial and extreme, yes, but prime examples of how mental suffering can be far more devastating than the actual physical suffering. As a person with both professional and personal experience of the devastating effects of mental illness with or without an accompanying  physiological illness, I would advocate any method experienced as helpful to the individual to maintain and improve mental health, be that drug-based, talking therapy, meditation/yoga, something totally different, or any combination of these, placed in no particular order of importance. For my husband, it's running. For me, it's a combination of all of the above, Classic FM, and my card therapy because of the resulting pleasure it brings to both myself during the creative process and the person receiving the end product. Having recently completed my latest bout of talking therapy with a fantastic psychotherapist, and missing the outlet and support those sessions brought, I have been searching for constructive articles to read and found these free guided meditations and also this interesting +Psychologies article '5 Ways to Thrive Without Having Therapy' which others may also find useful.

So, onto my therapeutic card creating of last week! Here is my moving house card:

Made using a combination of Spellbinders dies, ric rac, Tonic Studios punches, +WOW! Embossing Powders in Pastel Pink and Lili of the Valley sentiment, fancy brad and key charm.

I will sign off now with another couple of photos:

One from my garden this morning and the other from a card I made last summer.

Have a lovely Monday everyone, time to go and get hugs and kisses off my little hellraisers,

Emma x

Quill to Thrill!

Hi

The postman brought me some new Spellbinders goodies from Samuel Taylors this morning, which I can't wait to try out - watch this space. I really must make time for a trip down to their Leeds branch, but then on second thoughts, I'm pretty sure the bank balance couldn't cope with being face to face with all those craft goodies. That reminds me, need to get a new lottery ticket! Can always dream... my own craft room... huge desk... all the Spellbinders and Martha Stewart products you could ever wish for... patterned papers stacked to the ceiling... sea view... would need the ability to stop time too, hmmm perhaps getting a little carried away.

Actually I'm quite happy with my craft corner in our south-facing kitchen. I have a lovely white desk, although it's a bit tricky to spot the surface sometimes, and even got the drill out to put a couple of shelves up a few months ago, which haven't landed on my head yet so can't be too bad. The kids are fully briefed that it is absolutely-out-of-bounds-mummy's-desk-don't-even-think-about-it, and the Promarkers well hidden so no crafty surprises/nightmares yet. I can catch 5 minutes here and there when the kids are playing nice, - make that 2 minutes - to die cut some shapes or to stamp something to leave to dry until later, so it's handy that my craft space is downstairs at the moment. I love checking out other people's craft spaces on Pinterest from the super-organised, and brilliant ideas, to the very practical or moremoneythansense!

Quilling is fantastically therapeutic as a craft, although a little fiddly, and is relatively inexpensive to produce something visually appealing. So thought I would show you one of my very early creations that I made for a graduation card:

Ignore the lips, slip of the hand I think! I based the idea on one of Diane Crane's quilled people in Quilled Greetings Cards. Daffodils are very simple to do:

Look lovely though don't they? They would be good on a canvas to brighten a wall too.

There is a brilliant quilled boiled egg and cup of coffee in this month's Crafts Beautiful (August) worth a look, very quirky!

Till my next blog,

Emma x

The Gift of Memories

Hi,

If ever I needed a day of card therapy today was one of them! I haven't much to show for the last few days unfortunately as family life has taken precedence but have been working on a 'New Home' card that I will share once the recipients have received it.

Ninety years ago today Edith was born. I would have loved to have been making a fabulous 90th card over the weekend but bloody lung cancer took her away from us last year. My amazing, funny, strong, cantankerous, fiercely independent grandma. It is almost impossible to comprehend the changes in the world she saw over her lifetime. I admire the strength of character that defined her: in the absence of my grandpa during the war, raising two daughters whilst he worked away in Africa, and how she handled herself in the years following his premature death in 1989.

Grief has overwhelmed me today like a tide consumes the beach. Memories of her enjoying the garden, talking to me, discussing her latest plans, and holding my children have flooded in, causing my throat to tighten. I couldn't bring myself to sit at my desk but adopted my usual approach to feeling pain and that is to flit from task to task. Anyone that has experienced grief will understand feeling that the world is an unbearable place without that missing piece of your life.

But bearing pain and managing those feelings is an essential part of mental well-being. Life does continue and finding the resilience to be part of that life despite adversity is key. So tonight I when I watched my youngest son trying his hardest to throw a ball over the fence, and failing, and trying again, so enthusiastically; I smiled and looked at my husband smiling too. My family now wouldn't exist if it wasn't for Edith. Thank you grandma, for all you gave me xxx

Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.

(Mary Elizabeth Frye, 1932)

Love to all,

Emma x

Year of the Butterfly

Hello!

By my reckoning, since having children I have lost 6 months worth of sleep. 6 MONTHS! That's working on about 4 hours less a night - admittedly I was a bit of a hypersomniac (just looked it up, never heard of it before either) and absolutely loved my bed. Functioning with sleep deprivation is like being fired out of a cannon through a brick wall and having to do a triathlon immediately after. Yesterday was one of those days and by mid-morning I had to accept things just weren't going to go as planned due to nocturnal disturbances from the little people in our house. Despite my best attempts, I wasn't happy with anything I created.

However today following a lovely 7 hour sleep I've felt back on form, and continuing with yesterday's half-creations, managed to come up with a card I feel happy with. Butterflies are everywhere now aren't they? Not just the real Buddleia-loving, long-legged beauties but their colourful images feature on clothes, jewellery, stationery and even made an appearance on Eurovision this year! I could probably set up an Ebay shop with my butterfly-related craft stash but do enjoy making use of it so here is my latest effort:

It's made up of a washi tape border, Papermania red shimmer card, and pearlescent white card embossed with 'Intrinsic' by Couture Creations. I can't remember which make of die the butterflies are I'm afraid (not Spellbinders), but there are many lovely ones out there. I have used more Papermania shimmer card and silver mirri card. A Spellbinders blossom die with a LOTV sentiment embossed with WOW Pomegranate powder finishes my card. I also made a matching tag with a Go Kreate die and Tonic Studios punch.

Let me know what you think! Go on... be my first post(er) - my Lancashire prince doesn't count!

Gotta go supervise [husband's management of] the kid's bathtime/bedtime routine, I need that beauty sleep!

Get crafting!
Emma x

If I turn my back for a second

Hi all,

Not a moment to blog this morning as my little wrecking ball Matthew is running amok around me and if I turn my back I usually find him launching himself off the highest point he can climb upon. I just hear "5,2,1 BLAST OFF" and a heart-in-mouth thud... then he does it again with a big grin. Adrenaline junkie in the making we think.

However he is at my feet with his big brother's transformer (whilst the cat's away...) so am grabbing a moment to type like mad. Thought I would show you a wedding card I made a few weeks ago for my very elegant cousin Adele who married David in Glasgow.

I really got a lot of pleasure from creating this card. The stamped image is a really cute £1 Hobbycraft stamp, WOW powder embossed - one of my favourite crafting pastimes, just love seeing the image come to life.

AAAARGH aforementioned child has just managed to climb up to the cupboard, get the hundreds and thousands out, give it a vigorous shake and yes - you've guessed it. Brief hoovering interlude needed.

Naptime respite ('There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep' - Ralph Waldo Emerson).

I have used Centura pearl card. Papermania for the purple with Arlington vellum. Spellbinders Grand Large Labels and another favourite of mine - a bit of quilling, simple cream ribbon bow and there you have it. I do favour non-fussy designs but I am intrigued with alternative design styles as I have a lot to learn and am sure my style will develop over time.

Let me know what you think!

Have a great afternoon,

Emma x

Monday morning peace!

Good morning!

Welcome to my blog. It's peaceful in Pool in Wharfedale as the boys are wreaking havoc at nursery instead of here and I have the morning to be creative (only do the housework if it's desperately needed). Finally putting the pen to paper - so to speak - to talk about crafty card creations and anything else that comes to mind.

Managed to come up with a Father's Day card for my dad over the weekend, in between taking the boys up Almscliffe Crag, nagging the husband to mow the lawn and repotting my beloved grandma's azalea. 

It's a Lily of the Valley stamp 'Dad's the Word' and sentiment in Segoe Script printed out. The papers are Jenny Ellory from a free collection with Crafts Beautiful. I coloured the card candi with my 'Prussian' Promarker.

Of course, I made plenty of mistakes as usual - the major one was using the wrong card to stamp on and so my colours have bled. I have got the right card in my stash but mixed up my whites - schoolgirl error. But I'm not going to worry about it, I doubt my dad will notice! 

I have only been making cards for about 18 months and I am learning more with every card I make, and really enjoy looking for inspiration on Pinterest, blogs and at Craft Shows.

Feel free to get in touch, add comments, whatever, and thanks for looking!

Nearly pick-up time so better run,

Emma xxx