New Website!

Hi

If you've found your way to my blog from an old link, you may like to know that I have a brand new home...

http://cardtherapy.co.uk/

Hope to see you there!

Emma x

Are We Nearly There Yet?

The countdown has begun...Four days this week, three and a half next week (fingers crossed I have a babysitter on Thursday for a few hours), one the week after, and blast off! It's back to pre-school/nursery they go! We've recovered from our collective end-of-term exhaustion and spent the last few weeks making and breaking things, fighting like cat and dog one minute and being best buddies the next, all the while laughing and crying in equal measures, and that's just me and my husband. We've had fun in the sun, paddling pool and several parks, been on holiday, had lazy days, borrowed countless library books, performed pyjama drama, chalked all over the flags/fence/garden wall (& kitchen when mummy wasn't looking), painted, coloured, stickered, done jigsaws, lego, play doh, rode our bike/truck/tractor/scooter, played with moon sand, playpit sand and beach sand, learned new words (not all of them suitable to repeat when back at kindergarten), grown a bit (the kids), shrunk a bit (me), and all got a little bit older and wiser in the process. It's been fab, not nearly as bad as I feared, better than I could have hoped. But...orrrrrr [aaargh]....are we nearly there yet? [please hurry up 3rd September]...I'm hungry [my enthusiasm is diminishing]...I'm bored [I need some head space]...I WANT THAT! NO I WANT THAT! IT'S MINE! NO IT'S MINE! [I really really really need some peace and quiet!].

So we're pushing on through this week, with a busy schedule to get us to the weekend! Another weigh-in this morning and another two pounds lost. Critical me couldn't help but be a little disappointed that it wasn't more, obviously I want to be slim again, like, now. I know, I know, losing two pounds a week is perfect. I've got to keep going, there's no quick fix (if only), and I would really like to be able to wear my wedding and engagement rings again. I can't remember what my weight was when they became just too uncomfortable, but I was able to wear them at the end of my last pregnancy so that is weight goal number one. Watch this space.

It was health appointments galore last week whilst my husband was still on holiday from work: dentist, doctors, opticians, chiropractors; even the car got a once-over. I must admit to having a little wobble (mental health speak in our house for having negative thoughts that spiral into a minor meltdown) on the day of our dentist appointment. I had made us a family appointment, mainly because I find it easier to manage potentially tricky situations if my husband is around, particularly as an extra pair of hands and eyes on the boys, as well as for moral support. However when the receptionist called us to go up to the dentist, she asked us loudly across the (full) waiting room to go up two at a time instead of all together. Well if you could see hackles rising, you'd have seen mine from space. The lioness in me roared at the receptionist (who is going to manage my youngest cub whilst I'm lay back looking at the ceiling with my jaws wide open???) whilst feeling humiliated at having to justify why I wanted us all to go together, in front of the waiting room audience, then promptly leapt up the stairs (husband and boys in tow) and roared at the dentist before he could even say come-in. Of course, the dentist was politeness personified and coaxed the lioness back down from fight mode quite easily whilst my husband looked on and smiled that knowing smile. (Luckily his 'would like to meet' profile included 'Latin temperament'). Of course my over-reaction stems from anxiety (This was not as planned/something bad will happen/ I won't cope). Most of the time, my anxiety level is very low, but at vulnerable moments I struggle. Mind (mental health charity) explain anxiety better than I can here. I relate to the paragraph explaining about being distressed and unable to cope in a particular situation in the past and then if a similar circumstance arises it can trigger the same feelings. The amateur psychologist in me thinks something about having to leave one child and keep the other one with me could have stirred up distress from my hospital admission.

I am sharing my little wobble simply to encourage awareness of anxiety and its symptoms (explained in the Mind link - if you haven't looked already look now!). I know it is impossible to expect people to know what someone else is thinking or feeling. I just hope that openness may encourage understanding which may inspire compassion.

Working on my pledge - Time to Change.

Emma x

Sun, Sea and Sand!

The perfect summer holiday combination and we've been lucky enough to have experienced all three in Scarborough last week. Better than expected weather, a fabulous sea-view apartment and technology-free time together was just the tonic we all needed. It really is true what they say about sea-air - my husband and I slept so well! I can't say the same for the boys - endless excitement, sharing a bedroom, and lack of routine meant they slept much less than normal and have come home exhausted. So the sleep catch up begins, and the purging of sand from every item we own! It was soooo worth it though and particularly as this was our first family holiday since our youngest was born over two years ago. Due to my postnatal depression (The Summer I'd Like To Forget) going on holiday just hasn't been an option before now.

Managing my stress levels and accepting my limitations is still an integral part of keeping myself well. It must seem strange to those without experience of anxiety and depression, surely a holiday would be just what you'd need? Wouldn't it be great if you could cure people of depression with a good holiday beside the sea?! Stuff the pharmaceuticals, get the travel agents in! However, what is really an obvious symptom of depression - a loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities and withdrawing from social contact - rules out holidays during a depressive episode. If I'd have been offered a month in the Maldives during my illness I'd have either have said that I couldn't give two hoots about the Maldives (less politely) or anywhere else for that matter or agreed if I could have had assurance that the plane would crash and finish me off. Recovery from depression is also a slow process and regaining self-confidence to get back 'out there' requires baby steps. The process of recovery includes redeveloping life skills, regaining control of your life and goal-setting. I can still remember going out of the house on my own again for the first time last year as vividly as I remember going on a bus for the first time with my friend on our own aged eleven! It's scary but you have a sense of achievement with each step forward you take. I felt a foreign holiday would probably have been too much for me this year - the thought of packing with restrictions, managing myself and the boys in a confined space like an aeroplane, and worrying about the unknown could cause enough stress to ruin it. But I knew I could manage filling the car to the roof, a car journey across Yorkshire, stopping whenever needed, and staying in accommodation we have previously visited on a day trip. In actual fact, I just got on with the planning and organising, even feeling excited about our holiday. It still surprises me when I am able to feel really like 'me' again. Now I can say 'I did it!', without a meltdown in sight, I feel proud of myself and the icing on the cake is that we all had an amazing time. Here's to the organic process of recovery and proof that it really does 'get better'.

As for my dietary challenge, I can also report progress there too! Last Monday's weigh-in showed another 2lb loss and despite abandoning the diet and calorie-counting in order to make the most of our holiday (ice-creams on the promenade in particular), yesterday's weigh-in showed I have just maintained, with no weight-gain! Thrilled to bits. I think the dragon boat pedalo helped - I had thighs of steel after that! Well perhaps not quite. Back to it now and hoping to get a bit more walking in this week.

Onto my card therapy of the last couple of weeks. Before the holiday I had been working really hard on my latest creation and managed to complete it yesterday.
I would like to enter this card into the following challenges:
'Make it Festive' blog challenge by Lili of the Valley. There is an amazing prize up for grabs to become a member of their Guest Design Team!
Winter Wonderland Challenge Blog - Cute Christmas
Cute Card Thursday - Challenge 281 - Die-ing to punch
As You Like It Challenge #8 - Favourite Ribbon or Twine - I really don't have just one favourite as I adore using either on all my creations but my favourite colour of ribbon or twine is red so here it is! I desperately wanted to use some beautiful red velvet ric rac on this card but just couldn't fit it in anywhere. It WILL feature somewhere soon though!
Christmas Cards All Year Round - August Challenge - Christmas Extravaganza Make It Fussy and Fancy
Crafty Hazelnuts Christmas Challenge 137 - Picture inspiration - Trees and snowflakes

I created my own card blank for this one from Centura Pearl pastel blue in an 8x8" size. I matted some dark blue pearl paper and paper from LOTV 'Frosty Christmas' pad which I won last year!

The stamped image is LOTV 'Decorating the Tree' coloured with Promarkers, a real bobble for the hat, bit of obligatory glitter, and glossy accents on the baubles. I die-cut around the image with Spellbinders Lattice rectangles and also two smaller sizes in the dark blue pearl paper again with more 'Frosty Christmas' matted inside. 

The border at the bottom was created with Tonic Studios mini tree punch with border system and sponge daubed with Brilliance Moonlight White ink to give the effect of snow. I also used a Brilliance Dew Drop in Pearlescent Thyme to ink the edges of the trees from the back of the paper. You can see some red Craftwork Cards Candi in the bottom right.

Next I added wooden snowflake embellishments that I double embossed (I like the depth and coverage double embossing gives) in +WOW! Embossing Powders in opaque bright white and clear sparkle, and threaded them with some baker's twine. I always make little notches in the card to hold string embellishments in place.

Lastly I added the sentiment, this probably took the longest of all, as I tried several different colourways, shapes and sizes, but eventually settled on this pre-printed sentiment from +Craftwork Cards mounted on a punched dark blue pearl paper circle with white inked edges and then mounted on white pearl card die cut with Spellbinders Lacey Circles and hung with more baker's twine. This swings freely like a tree ornament!

To my uncrafty readers please accept my apologies for the summer Christmas card, whilst the crafty readers among you will know I am very late getting started!!!

Thanks for reading, next stop - the Maldives,

Emma x